Thursday things I need to say

MacGyver and I were listening to the news this morning and they were talking about a recent study that said most Americans think about food about 40 minutes a day.  FORTY?  I was like, we need to know who was in that study because I think about food like 4 hours a day and those people are not telling the truth.

Fortunately, I’ve stopped taking the steroids so now I only think about food like three and a half hours a day.  As far as the weight I gained while on the steroids, well, it’s made itself at home and I’m struggling with it.  This is an accurate representation:

Or chips, or ice cream……

Did y’all see that Ariana Mocha Latte Grande got a new tattoo?  She did.  I’m assuming that it was supposed to say ‘7 Rings’ which is apparently the name of her new song but it doesn’t.

Roughly translated, it says ‘BBQ grill’ and no, I am not kidding.  Maybe when you get a tattoo in Kanji, you should double check with someone who actually knows Kanji, just sayin.

But apparently Ariana took my advice and consulted with her Japanese tutor because she tried to get the tattoo fixed and even posted about it on her Instagram.

She captioned the post partly with this, “RIP tiny charcoal grill. Miss u man. I actually really liked u.”

However, depending on how you read it, her attempted fix might actually now read, ‘Japanese BBQ Finger.’  Good Lord.  I’m not sure what perplexes me more, the tattoo or the fact that I even follow Ariana Mocha Latte Grande’s Instagram account.

Also when I read some people’s messages on Instagram it makes me wonder…

word porn

Are you experiencing the Polar Vortex where you live?  I cannot believe some of these temperatures.  It’s crazy.  The kid lives in Columbus and with the wind chill it’s been in the negative 20’s.  He didn’t even have to work today because it’s too dangerous to be outside. 

For the record he doesn’t work outside but I guess the city wants as few people out as possible.  He also told me that the newscasters are telling people to turn down their heat because with so many people blasting their furnaces it puts a strain on the system so he has his thermostat set at 65.

I have my thermostat set at 70 because it’s been in the low 60’s here and my toes have been blue for days.  I can’t even imagine a polar vortex. Just the fact that polar is in the name indicates to me that it’s unlivable. Well that and this reporters pants,

They were frozen solid after 10 minutes outside. Nope, not for me.  I’ll be over here fighting with Hank over the heated blanket.

What is the temperature where you are?

Do you have any tattoos? 

WTF Wednesday, my mojo is missing

I got up this morning with the intention of going for a short run and then a weight session. Instead I completely forgot to set my alarm, and when I woke up and realized that it was already approaching 6:30AM, I didn’t even fret.

I just lazily stumbled out of bed and instead of getting ready and putting on the clothes that were already laid out, I procrastinated. I started thinking about how hot it is outside and then the treadmill, and then exercise in general, and I couldn’t get this image out of my mind.

Treadmill

Nope, it isn’t!

So, yeah, my motivation left the room and it hasn’t come back yet. I should probably be concerned about that but instead I’m just….I don’t, I, I ……

Dont-even-care-snap-snap-GIF
The good news is, it has stopped raining here. The bad news is, the mosquito’s are the size of small birds, and they’re hangry!

The state of Florida places sentinel chickens for early detection of West Nile Virus and recently 3 of them in the County I live in have tested positive, so running outside is not only hot, it’s dangerous.

mosquito control
Lately I’ve been wondering, how is it that they can make a 30 day mosquito, tick and flea control for dogs but they haven’t come up with a 30 day mosquito control for people? I mean, I’d put that shit on the nape of my neck, no problem.

mosquito control

I guess I’ll just have to do my own mosquito control. It’s similar to my spider control methods.

fat cells suck
Oh, and also, MacGyver and I both gained 5 pounds in five days while we were in the Keys. We have no idea how that happened because we didn’t eat any more than usual, and we were pretty active.Clearly, I am not concerned by those 5 pounds seeing as how I couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed this morning.

Pete the peacock comes around every night for dinner about 7ish. He’s pretty prompt.  In fact, that’s how I determine that TMZ is on. When we were in the Keys, the Kid stayed down here and he took care of dinner for all the neighborhood critters including Pete. He also took some pictures and posted them on Reddit.

Pete the Peacock

Just look at that beautiful creature!

Last night when the Kid and I were making a run to Wendy’s for a Frosty, (hmmmm, see 5 pounds), we were talking about Pete and the following was our conversation:

The Kid: I posted pics of Pete on Reddit and people sent me all kinds of great info about Peacocks.

Me: Really? Can you ask them a question?

The Kid: Sure, what do you want me to ask them?

Me: Find out why they like colorful clothing better than plain clothes like black or white.

The Kid: What do you mean?

Me: Well, when I wear black, white, or really plain clothes Pete just comes over and eats dinner and then leaves. But lately, when he comes over, I throw on some purple and orange, or teal and yellow, and talk to him, and he fans out his feathers and twerks for me. So can you ask them why he likes more colorful clothing and if that’s why he dances for me and fans his tail?

The Kid: I think the more appropriate question is, why are you trying to seduce a peacock?

Oh Kid, you slay me.  Obviously my sense of humor has been inherited, but for the record, I was not trying to seduce the peacock.

Do you lose your motivation after taking a vacation?
How do you get your workout mojo back?  Please share because mine has gone to the dogs…or the peacocks…or the turtles, or, you get the point.