What is your emergency?

We finally got some good news at the vet yesterday.  That morning I took Hank for a little walk and he pooped a little soft poop.  Not that you need to know that but really, you do.  When we got to the vets office Hank’s little swelling was almost unrecognizable and the vet determined that there was no obvious hole from a hernia and it must have been swollen because of his stomach issues, so we could just take a wait and see approach.

jumping up and down

But then she went on to explain that Hank has very large balls.  Only she didn’t exactly say it like that.  It was more like, the large blah, blah, blah, and the rise in testosterone from the doohicky in the watchamacallit could be a problem in the future.  It could result in a serious hernia that will need surgery.  So I asked her what could be done to keep that from happening and she said, we need to castrate him.

Run Dog Run That wasn’t really Hank’s reaction because he has no idea what castration actually means but it was close to MacGyver’s reaction.

After we left the vet Hank and I came straight home because I am really behind in work and can’t afford to dick around.  When we walked through the lanai up to the back door I noticed the back door was open and I thought I had closed it.

I didn’t give it too much thought as Hank and I entered the house but then I saw this:

wrecked house

Oh My God!

I slowly backed up as I dialed 911 and then I heard the bird make his loud ‘PEW’ sound and I was hoping he was okay and I was wondering where Boomer was and hoping no one had hurt him.

Just as that thought entered my head and the 911 operator answered the phone I looked down at the floor and saw Hank’s food bowl, the very same bowl I had put way up high on the table so that Boomer wouldn’t eat it while we were gone.

Emergency Services Lady:  911 What is your emergency?

Me:  Bad dog, BAD DOG!

Emergency Services Lady:  Excuse me?  Ma’am?

Me:  Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.  I thought someone broke into my house but it was just my dog.  My dog is the thief, a food thief.  I’m so sorry.

The operator laughed and asked me if I was sure I was okay and I assured her that I was but that I couldn’t say the same for my dog because he was in big trouble.  We hung up after that but I think she had to follow some sort of protocol, (or else she just wanted to hear about what kind of idiot calls 911 for a dog food burglar), because she sent two cop cars by.

I was mortified.  Boomer was still in a food coma.

Do you have dogs? 

Have they been spayed or neutered?  If so, did you do it when they were younger or older?

Retirement Tennis sounds sexy to me

My Mom is here!  And she has offered to help me take some photos so that I can show you a great product I have a limited discount for.  I’m going to show you those tomorrow.  Let’s hope they turn out.  My Mom is not exactly Herb Ritts.  Unless you’re a family member you probably don’t get that joke to put that into perspective, if you said to my mom, hey could you take a picture of me in front of the Grand Canyon?  She would take the picture and you might get a picture of a cloud and a tiny bit of your cowlick.  Yeah, she’s that good.  But hey, we got all night and I got lot’s of space on the iPhone so stay tuned for that big discount tomorrow.

Over the weekend I went running on the Legacy Trail in Nokomis through Osprey to Sarasota.  It’s a beautiful trail and I will never get tired of running it.  Never.  I’ve seen bobcats and a panther and alligators and all kinds of wildlife not to mention all the runners, walkers and bikers I’ve met.

During my long run this weekend there was a group of bikers and runners headed up by an older couple wearing some official looking gear, carrying all kinds of official looking equipment.  As I ran by the gentleman said to me, ‘great form, keep it up’.  It really made my day and seem to make the miles fly by.  That’s one of the reasons I love running down there.  It’s also one of the reasons that MacGyver and I eventually plan to retire there.  It’s one of a ton of things to do.  If you happen to see that gentleman at the eye doctor this week, tell him I said thanks.

Anyway, MacGyver and I were talking the other night and I said I was really excited about the day we retire and we can actually run and bike and swim and fish and anything else we want to do without having to worry about a schedule.  He agreed.  We also agree that we’ve chosen the perfect area to retire to.  And as it we needed any proof at all, the news came on and we saw this:

So see, we could also play tennis!

Where do plan to retire to?

Thank God it’s Thursday

Life gets crazy around here sometimes.  So crazy that I don’t even have time to write on my favorite day of the week and my wtf Wednesday post gets postponed to Thank God it’s Thursday and for the record, I am.

Not to bitch or anything but I’ve spent about 9 weeks working on a project that really should have been finished weeks ago but I’ve spent the last week redesigning the home page because someone can’t decide what word to use in the damn tagline.  It doesn’t sound so bad until you realize that I’ve redesigned it 53 times!  Fifty.  Three.

kill me

Half the people I’ve ever known decided to call me yesterday….WHILE I WAS ON A CONFERENCE  CALL!

And when I didn’t answer, half of them decided it would be a good idea to text me.

genius

I really hope I make it to the airport with at least one matching outfit or at least two matching pairs of shoes.

And now for the conundrum, I just found out that the Knoxville Marathon is the day after the wedding and it’s also the only day that I have to spend with my sister other than wedding day stuff.  I hadn’t planned on running but I’ve never run the Knoxville Marathon and it’s my hometown……my soles are burning…

What would you do?