It’s Friday and this post is a quick one because I’m in a fight with a squirrel

I know, I know, I’ve been MIA for a few days. I have a pretty good explanation. You see the kid is coming home for Christmas for a few days and it’s also his birthday and so I’ve been getting all prepared, which basically means….

boss shop
So, yeah.

Also, I had to have MacGyver repair some Christmas lights and then I had to restring them. In case you’re wondering why, let’s just say I’ve got a contract out on a certain squirrel in my neighborhood.

Kill the squirrel
Oh, it’s so on little squirrel, IT IS ON!

I’ve also been busy going through my closet and trying to find out what fits and what doesn’t. Most of the things I’ve tried on fall into the latter category.

scale fail
I know what the problem is. Topirimate. When I stopped taking it the weight just creeped up. And I’m fine with it. I’d rather be 10 pounds heavier that have pneumonia every other week and run the risk of destroying my lungs. And then there’s the whole eye issue thing. F*ck Topirimate all the way to hell but I’m not bitter. No, really, not at all.

I went to ALDI a few times this week and each time someone has given me a cart without asking for a quarter.

YES
In case you don’t know how ALDI works, you pay a quarter to basically rent the cart while you shop and then you get it back when you return the cart. It helps ALDI because they don’t have to pay someone to retrieve their carts from the parking lot and in turn keep their prices low. We like low prices around here.

We also like not having to dig to the bottom of our purse to find a damn quarter. Because you know how I dig through my purse, right?

purse digI throw that shit right on the floor.  It has never failed me.  Well, except once when I threw everything on the floor in my car and the one quarter rolled up under the seat in that little spot that you can never ever reach.  So, thank you random stranger and I paid it forward too!

Happy Friday folks, I’m going hunting, for a squirrel.

What are you doing this weekend?  

Any Christmas light fails?  Tell me please!

WTF Wednesday, Skittle Squirrel

Last night was once again a success.  Hank the dog who normally wants to bite the face off of any stranger who comes to the front door turned into the charming King of Halloween per usual.

Hank

Boomer unfortunately feel asleep shortly after donning his peacock costume.

Peacock dog

The peacocks in the neighborhood were very confused by the whole situation and kept coming to the front door to check out Hank who was on post.

Dog and Peacock

My favorite costume of the night was a young man in a suit with a hello my name is tag that said ‘sorry’.  He took one look at my face and could tell I was confused when he said, ‘I can tell my costume is perplexing to you.  In case you’re wondering, I’m a formal apology.’

Punny costumes rock!

This morning as Mom and I walked the dogs we saw candy wrappers everywhere.  Most of them were empty, except for one, a pack a skittles.  We only noticed because a neighborhood squirrel was ripping the package open and having an eating frenzy.  When we got a little too close he ran up the tree with his skittle package and little skittles falling from the sky.  It was hilarious!  I’m going back to same area later to see if he has a sugar high.

halloween squirrel

TRICK OR TREAT!

Have you ever worked with people that drove you crazy?  Have you ever wanted to quit a job so badly it just drove you nuts?  Well, so did Syd Hardy, who worked for Nippybus.  This is a portion of the email he sent to his employees:

“There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you have had enough,” the note continued. “I have had enough and realise I cannot work with you, the people I employ, a moment longer.  There comes a time in any relationship when you just have to say ‘Fuck it’, say goodbye and move on. This is my time! I am quitting to pursue my dream of not having to work here.

The gates are now closed and will not open so you can stay in your scratchers and have a lie in.”

Call me Syd, you’re the type of guy I’d like to have a beer with!

I was watching the Wendy Williams show yesterday when she passed out.  Did any of you catch that?  And if you did, did you think it was part of the show at first because I did.  That was crazy. I hope she is okay and doesn’t push herself just because she has such a strong work ethic.  Maybe she could take a day off and hang out with Syd…

One more thing, I had my appointment with the sports therapist yesterday.  After an hour and a half I walked out feeling great, not because of the session so much but because on my list of ‘homework’ to do, the second thing was ‘run’!  Hell yes, this is my kind of therapist.  I should probably fax his orders to all the doctors who told me running was bad for me and I just might.

WTF, it’s Wednesday, and in spite of all the things going on in this crazy world, I hope we can all have a laugh and enjoy life,  if only for a minute.  It’s good for your soul.

 

Five Miles is heaven…

I got a lot done this weekend.  A lot.  But not everything.   After working inside at my desk for a bazillion hours last week I couldn’t wait to work outside Saturday and Sunday and I got most of the lawn finished.  I cleaned up all the broken limbs from the hurricane that wasn’t, I raked up all the leaves from the sweet gum tree and I swept off all the patios areas.  I re-mulched all the mulched areas and replaced some of the beat up pavers and I cleaned off and mopped up the entire lanai.

I cleaned most of the inside of the house but before I could finish the weekend was over and I didn’t even get to all of my personal paperwork that’s been mounting on my desk in the bedroom.  I was so tired that I had to ask MacGyver to take the trash cans down to the curb when he came home from hunting which prompted him to ask me if I had also had time to clean up the garage for him.

Seriously

Do you want to repeat that? Are you sure? Think about it….

Yeah, he is crazy.  He’s still alive too, barely.

You may remember that my nephew and his family were in town last week.  My nephews wife is very much like me in the sense that we are both ‘Dr. Doolittle’s and tend to speak to the animals or rather they speak to us.

This is probably why I don’t find it odd at all when I hear that she’s been speaking to deer or chickens, and I don’t think she finds it odd to hear that I’ve been feeding a peacock or a turtle, by hand of course.

Anyway, a few days after they arrived at our Nokomis house she called to tell me that she had rescued a squirrel in the backyard because his momma had been mean to him and wouldn’t take care of him.  She tried to release him but he had already imprinted on her and now he was hers.

I sent her a video of me feeding the peacocks the day before they left to head home.  I wanted to send one of Charles watching TV because I’m positive he asked me to turn the channel but I missed it and didn’t get it on video, I only got a picture and I didn’t think it had the same impact as a video would have besides who believe that a peacock prefers football over fishing but I swear he does.

peacock watches tv

I was wrong about the impact of photos obviously because when my nephew and the family left on Sunday they sent me the following photo as they were driving home with their new family member and it was then that I realized a picture is worth a thousand words.

Squirrely gets a new life

Goodbye cruel world, I’m going home!

I ran almost 10 miles total last week y’all!  I didn’t run at all over the weekend because I knew I had a lot to do and I didn’t want to push it and that’s okay.  I’m running again and that’s all that matters.  Last week I I had a total of 34 miles, 10 of those running and 24 walking.

Can you guess what I had planned for this morning?

dachshund

Yes, that’s it, that’s what I had planned.  But Hank would not cooperate.

Okay, that’s not what I had planned.  Actually I planned a five mile run.

Five miles baybee.  And I got up and got it done.  It wasn’t the easiest five miles and I struggled a little toward the end but it wasn’t horrible and I did it.  I. did. It.

And after today, only 8 more days until I see the gastroenterologist!  And I cannot believe I just got excited about that.  Such a weirdo.  I have an excuse though, I was dropped as a baby.  No really I was….

shirt

Have a fantastic Monday.

Did you run this weekend?

Did you know that peacocks like football?