WTF Wednesday, challenges, spray tans and spiders

People please, stop jumping out of moving cars for the kiki challenge.  For Christ sake the fact that I would even find myself writing that is in itself disturbing.  What’s wrong with you people?

stupid

THIS, is stupid.

I have a challenge for you, how about read a new book every month or take a class and learn something new, like pottery or painting, or take a dance class.  Inside.  Jeez.

So, MacGyver is still in Nokomis and I’m in Clearwater partying like a rock star.  And by partying like a rock star I mean like this,

my desk

Yeah, glamorous, I know.

Yesterday was garbage day.  They usually come to our house pretty late in the day which means if I forget to put the trash out on Monday night I can still usually get it all out there before they come.  I said usually.  I’ve been a little preoccupied with work and the whole breathing thing so I forgot yesterday, until they were on my street.

I ran out there as quickly as I could with two large garbage bags and caught them just in time.  I threw them in the garbage truck myself as they emptied the cans.  When they emptied the third on, and yes we have three, I grabbed the can to start bringing them up by the garage and that’s when something ran over my hand.

I didn’t see what it was at first but the big burly garbage man screamed like a bitch.  So I looked under the lid and that’s when I saw it.

spider

We don’t appreciate spiders around here.  And this one was huge.  HUGE.  And now the garbage man thinks I’m pretty badass because I slayed that sucker.  Slayed him.

Has anyone seen these booths on the beach or around the pool?

sunscreen booth

From someone who always ends up with a hand print or an unusual spot on her body after applying her own sunscreen, this thing is genius.  It can also dispense bug spray.  Seriously.  I want one of these in my house.

WTF it’s Wednesday

WTF Wednesday, bankrupt by a spider

Before I get into this post let me just share with you what I found on the lanai last night:

We think this is actually a fishing spider but I don’t care what it is, I almost blew up the house to get rid of it.

Why?  I just got back from the vet.  I had to drop off Hank.  He has been getting better and everything was looking good but then I asked MacGyver to watch him for a half hour so I could go to the store.

just one

When I walked in the door with my groceries, I scanned the sofa quickly and then said, ‘where’s Hank?’ at which point MacGyver said, ‘what do you mean?’

Apparently, we have different ideas about what ‘watch the dog’ means because when I’m at home all day working, I keep him right beside me and I don’t let him get up unless I carry him outside to go to the bathroom because stitches are expensive y’all!

MacGyver just watched him until he fell asleep on the sofa at which point Hank got up and went out to the lanai where he proceeded to chew out some of his stitches.  We basically repeated the scenario this morning except I was only out of the room for 10 minutes to take a shower and in those 10 minutes he managed to chew out another chunk of stitches.

Now, if you saw the pictures of his spider bite and the subsequent surgery, you know he has a lot of stitches but that’s because he NEEDS all of those stitches.  That’s why I took him back to the vet this morning to get more stitches.

As the vet was pulling back the skin to look at how it’s healing she found some additional necrosis.  Fuck!  So now, Hank is in surgery again.

For the love of God

You know what I wish?  I wish that stupid fucking spider would’ve just asked me for four or five thousand dollars.  That would’ve been a hell of a lot easier.

WTF?  It’s Wednesday and if I never see another spider in my life, I really wouldn’t give a shit!