WTF Wednesday, Wreath me alone

So, this post is a little late today.  I was up at the usual 5:30 AM, I ran, walked the dogs, showered and then got ready to get on the computer.  Except, one of the dogs was farting.  And y’all, it was bad.

fart dogs

Completely accurate.

That’s the reason I spent most of my morning outside on the lanai.  Because my dogs are gross and they stink.  And also because I’m trying to contain all the glitter to one area.  You may have heard me mention it at least a hundred times or more but I hate glitter, it’s the herpes of the craft world but there’s a reason it’s all over my house.

glitter herpes

The reason for the glitter is my obsession with making things and you tube.  I’m pretty sure I could perform a vasectomy with the right you tube video.  No, I’m absolutely sure.  You tube is the best thing ever for audio/visual learners but I digress, let’s talk about why my house looks like the day after a disco party gone wrong.

Wreaths.

I wanted to make my mother in law a wreath for the fall since she’s getting out of the hospital today.  And as luck would have it, I found a great tutorial on youtube and I made this one for her.

burlap wreath

And then I fell down the rabbit hole.  I found more tutorials and more ideas and after 7 trips to the dollar tree, all the supplies I needed.

And then I made this one for me.

 

And I might have made one or two more but I’m not publicly admitting to anything.  I do have a question though, why on God’s green earth does the Dollar Tree put glitter on practically everything?  WHY?  It’s completely unnecessary.  I mean really.

WTF, It’s Wednesday and today I’m steering clear of youtube and the dog’s butt.

Tuesday by the twos

Two miles.  The amount that I walked yesterday morning.  It seems like such a small amount but when you’re having breathing problems and it’s hella humid, two miles is a marathon.

Two minutes.  The amount of time it will take me to put on my running shoes and run a marathon as soon as my doctors figure out what is wrong and then ultimately fix it.

when you cant run

Two Days.  The amount of time until I actually meet with my new pulmonologist.  Also, an eternity.

Two movies.  I told you about one of these months ago but these are two movies that I simply cannot wait to see.

Love, Gilda

Three Identical Strangers

Two for the price of one.  A cassette tape in which I am auditioning to be a teacher, at 8 years old because yes, I thought I needed to audition.  So I reigned in my brother and sister and on that same tape my sister can be heard pretending to be Rosanne Rosanna Danna who stepped in cat poo and my brother, who is playing my student pronounces agent as ag-ant.  AG Ant.  I have that cassette tape in my possession and I am just waiting for the perfect moment to play it again.  Embarrassing two of my siblings at the same time.  Two for the price of one.  Finding a cassette player may prove to be  challenging…… and also I just dated the hell out of myself.

Never mind found it, AMAZON.

Two Dogs.  The amount I have and the little boogers who keep me somewhat in shape by insisting I walk them many times, every. single. day.  And feed them and pet them and give them snacks and take them for car rides and….

Two Birds.  Also the amount I have although I’ve released them countless times because they refuse to leave me.

Too Many.  The amount of peacocks and ducks that I feed daily in my yard.  Also why the two birds may be refusing to leave.  My shopping bill is huge.  HUGE.

Two hours.  The amount of time I slept last night because MacGyver is in Nokomis and it was eerily quiet without the soothing sound of his snoring.

Your turn, tell me something in twos. 

My fitbit is stuck in the customer support limbo mode, and yes, it’s a thing.

On the 9th of July I was sent a return label for my 2 month old fitbit Versa because the display stopped working.  Remember that date okay?

fitbit tan

The good news is, I was getting the opportunity to work on filling in that fitbit white strap which had unfortunately become a permanent mark.  I figured I’d have at least a week to fill that in but surprise, apparently I’ve got all the time in the world.

Apparently, fitbit has to wait until they receive the old fitbit and then their warehouse has to notify them that they’ve received the item, and that takes up to five days.  I don’t understand this, is it because they have so many returns and if that’s the case, what’s up with that?

In my case they received the versa on the 20th and as of the 29th they still hadn’t gotten confirmation but in the interest of keeping their customers happy they told me they would go ahead and ship out a replacement.  How thoughtful.

Oh, and also even tough they promised overnight shipping on the return back to me, they conveniently forgot and shipped regular ground because why not make the girl wait another week?  What’s the date again, oh yeah, tomorrow is the last day of July.  What the hell fitbit?  I would’ve used an exclamation point but that key is broken on my computer but I was yelling that, just so you know.

hell no

I planned on reviewing the Versa this month but since I haven’t had it all month that will have to wait.  I can review customer service though and at this point in time, I can tell you that they Pretty. Much. Suck. Ass.

MacGyver and I were home this weekend because we had a lot of stuff to get done around here.  He left this morning to go to Nokomis because he has a big job down there but I am staying in Clearwater until the end of the week because I have a shit ton of work to do and a doctors appointment later in the week.

Oh and also, I’ve got like a bazillion animals to feed.

Boomer

Forget the bird lady, Black Labs Matter.

Now, how does this camera thing work? Wait, shit, I wasn’t posing…

The food is free, go tell all your friends.

Tilly

Hey look, when pigs fly…..

Okay, that last one isn’t mine.  It’s my neighbors.  Her name is Tilly and after meeting her and petting her little nose, I want one.  And I could get one too because MacGyver is in Nokomis and he would never know.

Somehow over the weekend I convinced MacGyver to go shopping with me.  When he wasn’t relaxing in the children’s recliners, he helped me find the perfect gnome for our Nokomis house.

You can’t really tell in the picture but it’s teal blue y’all and he’s beautiful.

That’s it for me, I’ve got work that needs to be finished and pets that need to be fed.

How was your weekend?

Do you have a fitbit?  What kind and have you ever had problems with it?  How was customer service?