Can’t see the forest for all the trees

I had an appointment with my sports therapist yesterday and I told him that I was still having pain in my arm at night and that in the last month there hasn’t been one night where the pain didn’t wake me up. So he asked me how I’ve been sitting when I work during the day and I had to admit that I’m still in the damn lazy boy, but it’s not my fault.

how to workI have to accommodate the wiener dog, always.

I may have already told you this but I can’t remember because due to my lack of sleep my brain is all jumbly, (not a word, huh?)  but I put up Christmas decorations over the weekend. I am sticking to 3 large and 2 small trees in Clearwater this year and I think we’ll go with only one in Nokomis.

I’ve seriously pared down my decorations. No, really, I have, I mean by comparison to my normal decorating habits anyway.

pink tree

This is the tree on my front patio. It’s pink but it looks purple in the picture. It’s not, it has pink lights and pink decorations. MacGyver is just thrilled with it.

lanai tree

This is my lanai tree because everyone who lives across the pond needs to see that we decorate.

Pencil tree

And the almost too tall tree.

The biggest problem that I have with my Christmas decorations is the dogs. Hank is very confused as to why he has to go outside to pee on trees when there are two perfectly good trees inside the house so that’s a struggle and Boomer is confused by the ornaments that look so lifelike. Seriously, how is a dog supposed to know which is the REAL candy cane.

canes

Boomer’s handy work!

Apparently, you just have to try them all until you find the one that tastes good.

This year I decided to switch out my little white tree with a pencil tree due to the limited space and my general laziness when it comes to rearranging the furniture. Anywho, when I was searching for the perfect pencil tree I happened upon the latest craze in Christmas decorations, the Upside Down Christmas Tree, what?

upside down tree

No this is not a wordpress error, what you’re looking at is the latest decorating trend.

Y’all this shit is real. Real stupid. Just why? I mean, I don’t get it. So I googled it and I’m still confused. Apparently it dates back to the 12th Century when it represented Trinity but nowadays some people just consider it sacrilegious. After reading everything I could about it, I came to same conclusion, it’s just stupid. Don’t do it. Someone will laugh at you. Me. I will laugh at you.

Have you decorated yet?

Do you have pets and are they confused by the decorations or are my dogs not as smart as I thought they were?

I’m headed to my personal running trail, but first, trees!

I realized yesterday that I mentioned my minimum six tree limit yet I’ve only shown you the pictures of this tree which we call, the main one.

main tree

Are you sick of this one yet? Good, because in about a week it should be really yellow and then it will be known as jaundice tree and I’ll post more pictures.

I’ve also got a cute pink tree on my lanai although in the picture it sort of looks purple.  It is not.  It is pink because, uh, pink!

Pink tre

Photobomb by Mr. Claus!

And because I don’t want the neighbors who happen to walk or drive by to think we haven’t gotten our Christmas on, or perhaps because I’m nuts, I put my red tree on the front patio by the door.

red tree

Welcome! Welcome to the home of Christmas tree heaven.

This year was the first year that I purchased a white tree. Mom helped me decorate it with all of my tropical ornaments. It’s got santa surfing, sipping tropical drinks, some festive boats, life vests, fisherman ornaments and the like. I just love it. It needs a different topper though, I’m thinking a starfish..? I need to find one.  Urgently.

white tree

Soak in the beauty, go ahead, you know you want to.

I also have trees in my spare rooms. This one is located in the main spare bedroom that the parents stay in when they visit.  We put them in that room because it has its own bathroom and old people have to get up to pee almost every hour so it’s the obvious choice.

Anywho, here’s that tree:

small tree br1

It’s rather small because old people also don’t like it if you impede the viewing area of the television.  God forbid they miss a 10 year old episode of Law and Order….

And the second spare bedroom also doubles as my office but I don’t really use it that much because I like working from the sofa (with HGTV and DIY Network running in the background).

But just in case I do work in there, I’ve got this tree to gaze lovingly upon and it matches the grays and silvers in the room because well, I’m that good.

br2 tree

Note the glitter on the tree skirt. Imma have to do something about that. Glitter is the herpes of the craft world!

And you know I wouldn’t leave out my own personal space.  Unfortunately MacGyver draws the line at anything over a foot tall and anything too girly.  So I’ve  got a little tree on my desk in my bedroom. It was a gift from my sister in law a few years ago.

cbrown tree

It’s Charlie Brown’s tree!  My desk is typically very neat but we’re going somewhere and I took this picture as we were packing.  Not that I care if you think I’m messy but I’m not, really.  I’m not.

Do you see a pattern here?

I told y’all I was OCD.

Oh, you thought I meant that kind of OCD……

Naw, I meant this kind:

ocd
I’m going to have to leave my trees for a few days because we’re heading out this morning to our cabin in Holopaw!  It’s in the middle of nowhere.  Literally.

camping

Fortunately we have a cabin and the toilet is inside! Do you know how hard it is to try to poop while holding a shotgun in case a rattler comes up? It’s rough.

I’m pretty excited about it actually because in case I didn’t mention it 800 times, I have my own running trail and its awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwsome.  For real!

Dog Town Trail

I’m coming for you beautiful Dog Town Trail! I’ve missed you….

The rest of the time will be what MacGyver calls, ‘time to unplug and unwind’ and what I call ‘lessons in self-control’. Why?  Because I will be tempted to drive 45 minutes to the nearest store when the internet connection on my phone gets a little spotty or the generator runs out of gas and the TV goes out.

The struggle is real!

Maybe I should take a tree out to decorate…hmmmmmm

Do you have a Christmas tree or three?
Do you decorate for the holidays?
On a scale of 1-10 how obsessed are you with decorations?  I mean any decorations for any holiday…

WTF Wednesday, Cars, Gifts and Pee

I’m not gonna lie to you, I find it incredibly annoying that I need to point this out, but apparently all of my previous attempts have fallen on deaf ears. I’m talking about looking behind your ass when you back out of your driveway. Gah!

Driver who cant drive
This morning I left around 7:20 to go for my run. Now, if today would have been like yesterday I would completely understand if a driver didn’t see me because yesterday the fog was crazy and visibility was zero! Today however, well today was beautiful, clear, and a bit warmer. A perfect day for a run, just maybe not in my neighborhood.

Bad Driver
I ran 9 miles this morning. 9 miles in which I was almost hit by a car 5 times. Yes, you read that right, FIVE! Guess what all of these drivers had in common? I mean besides the fact that they can’t drive. Not one of them looked behind before backing out. Not one.

dog driving

Yet you can still drive better than some of my neighbors….

Fortunately I made it through my run unscathed. Because later,

I went to the post office.

Why on God’s green earth do I wait until the last-minute every year to mail out gifts? I finished shopping for most of the gifts that I had to mail out weeks ago, but for some reason I neglected to mail them until today. Today.

I had some gifts to send to my niece and nephew in Virginia and a gift for my Mom and her dog that I needed to send to Tennessee. The postman got me some boxes to put the packages in and we secured them with some heavy-duty tape. With a little effort and some ingenuity we were able to fit all the gifts into two boxes. The postman put the packages on the scale and weighed them, filled out the forms on his computer and then gave me the total.

Wait, what?
Yeah, I paid more to send the packages than I paid for the damn gifts! UGH!

After going postal at the post office I headed home because I hadn’t even started my work yet, and I was also starving. I sat down in my recliner for a moment and looked over at the tree. And then I saw it. A bright yellow stain. And it was exactly what you think it was.

dog and christmas tree

Somebody just landed on the naughty list!

We put our tree up over the Thanksgiving weekend and after all that time, I was pretty sure Hank understood that it was not the type of tree you pee on. I wanted to be certain which I why I waited until last night to put gifts under the tree. Gifts that now smell like dog pee.

WTF? It must be Wednesday!

Do you have pets? Do they understand the Christmas Tree concept?
Have you ever had a car come close to backing into you?