Thursday, Cars and the idiots who drive them, edition 9,999,999,999

This morning I went out for a run.  I was only a short distance from my house and I had just passed the first four way stop when I noticed a Chrysler 300 approaching from the right.  Since I was already in the intersection I figured he would obey the traffic laws and actually stop.

nope, youre wrong

He barely slowed down and was literally only a few feet from me so I sped up in order to avoid getting hit.  It wasn’t like he was distracted, he totally saw me and just wanted to be an asshole.


What I wouldn’t give to be a policeman sometimes…..

I was pissed, but even more than that, I felt like sort of a bad ass.  Not bad ass like I’m all fast and shit but bad ass like I just played chicken with your automobile ass and I won, sucker!

racing a car

You really don’t want to race me car, you really don’t.

I realized a little while later than I’m sort of an idiot and one should never try to outrun, or play chicken, with a car.  Especially a car driven by an asshole.

Tell me about your latest close encounter.

WTF Wednesday, Cars, Gifts and Pee

I’m not gonna lie to you, I find it incredibly annoying that I need to point this out, but apparently all of my previous attempts have fallen on deaf ears. I’m talking about looking behind your ass when you back out of your driveway. Gah!

Driver who cant drive
This morning I left around 7:20 to go for my run. Now, if today would have been like yesterday I would completely understand if a driver didn’t see me because yesterday the fog was crazy and visibility was zero! Today however, well today was beautiful, clear, and a bit warmer. A perfect day for a run, just maybe not in my neighborhood.

Bad Driver
I ran 9 miles this morning. 9 miles in which I was almost hit by a car 5 times. Yes, you read that right, FIVE! Guess what all of these drivers had in common? I mean besides the fact that they can’t drive. Not one of them looked behind before backing out. Not one.

dog driving

Yet you can still drive better than some of my neighbors….

Fortunately I made it through my run unscathed. Because later,

I went to the post office.

Why on God’s green earth do I wait until the last-minute every year to mail out gifts? I finished shopping for most of the gifts that I had to mail out weeks ago, but for some reason I neglected to mail them until today. Today.

I had some gifts to send to my niece and nephew in Virginia and a gift for my Mom and her dog that I needed to send to Tennessee. The postman got me some boxes to put the packages in and we secured them with some heavy-duty tape. With a little effort and some ingenuity we were able to fit all the gifts into two boxes. The postman put the packages on the scale and weighed them, filled out the forms on his computer and then gave me the total.

Wait, what?
Yeah, I paid more to send the packages than I paid for the damn gifts! UGH!

After going postal at the post office I headed home because I hadn’t even started my work yet, and I was also starving. I sat down in my recliner for a moment and looked over at the tree. And then I saw it. A bright yellow stain. And it was exactly what you think it was.

dog and christmas tree

Somebody just landed on the naughty list!

We put our tree up over the Thanksgiving weekend and after all that time, I was pretty sure Hank understood that it was not the type of tree you pee on. I wanted to be certain which I why I waited until last night to put gifts under the tree. Gifts that now smell like dog pee.

WTF? It must be Wednesday!

Do you have pets? Do they understand the Christmas Tree concept?
Have you ever had a car come close to backing into you?