From your gum to your bum….

So obviously the surgery went okay, otherwise I would probably not be updating today, right?

medical humor

For the record I don’t usually mind medical humor, in fact, I sort of appreciate it but here’s the thing, when there are several patients and they are all within earshot, don’t use the same joke over and over again.  It’s horrible.  “Oh, you’re having the gum to your bum today….yada yada yada….”

MacGyver and I arrived at the surgery center around 8:30 in the morning.  My surgery was scheduled for 8:45.  The surgery center is just like a big ER and all the patients are in the rooms beside each other before they go into surgery.  That’s why I kept hearing the nurses tell the same joke over and over and by the time they got to me I was over it.

I had asked MacGyver the night before if he would take a sharpie and write ‘don’t amputate anything’ on my back in case they got confused as to which patient I was but apparently they only had colonoscopies and endoscopies on the schedule so no worries there.

My surgery didn’t start until nearly 10AM and I’ve had both a colonoscopy and an endoscopy many times, so I knew what to expect.   I just wanted them to knock me out and get it over with, sans jokes.

Finally they woke me up around 11:15 and told me that I have a hiatal hernia and an ulcer, some diverticulosis and several small white patchy areas which they’ve biopsied.  Too much info for you?  Well, how about a picture.

colon

Sorry, I had to.

I guess I will have to wait until my follow up to find out what they learn from the biopsies.  I tried to pick the doctors brain so I’d have some idea of what she thought but she had the worst bedside manner and was not very friendly or informative.  She just told me to take a prilosec every day and avoid aspirin until the biopsy results come in.

I’m pretty sure she’s fired after the follow up regardless of the outcome.  I have never had good luck with gastroenterologist.  I have hated almost every one I’ve seen and maybe she was just having a bad day but so far she hasn’t won me over or even made me think twice about giving her a second chance.

Once MacGyver and I got home I slept for the rest of the day.  On Saturday we went to a ton of garage sales and estate sales and on Sunday I decorated for fall, because I can.

fall

fall

And that was my weekend.

How was yours?

Getting to the bottom of things, literally

After going to the eye doctor on Monday and after my eyes were no longer dilated, I put my contact lenses back in.  I just want to mention that my coconut oil and my contact lens solution look very similar.  They are both clear bottles with blue writing, which is probably why I didn’t realize I had mistaken one for the other until my eyes started to burn.

eye pain

It was so much fun.

Do you know what’s even more fun?  What I’m doing tomorrow…

colonoscopy

Well, I don’t remember ever wearing anything so ugly but the doctor says I’m ready so I guess I am.

 

Actually, even better than a colonoscopy, I’m also having an endoscopy at the same time, oh the joy!  I’ll be exceptionally glad when all this is over.  Seriously.

colonoscopy

I’ll be glad when the doctors finally figure out what’s going on but I’m also happy to forgo this procedure if I could.

constipation

WORD!

Since you can’t eat anything the day leading up those two procedures, I’ve decided not to run today. Because I”m always hungry anyway but if I run it’ll be twofold.

Wish me luck for tomorrow.

Red tide, struck by lighting and baby shark doo doo doo doo

I know it’s been awhile.  I’ve been vacationing with my sister and the family.  I meant to update yesterday but I had an eye doctor appointment at 9 in the morning and they dilated my eyes which basically means I had a migraine from that point forward.

eye doctor

So, my sister and her family went home on Saturday morning.  We had an awesome visit despite the red tide that is plaguing us this year and the fact that my house in Nokomis got struck by lightning and we had no internet or cable or a decent TV since it killed my big ass TV in the living room.  And by killed, I mean fried.

No internet

Except none of us were feeling that amazing and this is actually what lightning looks like after it hits your house.

lightning strike

And when you go to the beach and red tide is in full effect, the smell can be pretty bad and there are warnings out, like this:

 

While I didn’t do any fishing myself, the rest of my family was able to do quite a bit and my sister and I got to shop. A lot.  We also spent some time on the beach, on an island and at Weeki Wachee and I have some pics for you….

The guys caught some sharks but this is the only pic that I actually have.

they caught and released it for those of you who are all, ‘love the sharks.’

My sister, my niece and her daughter and I all went to Nokomis beach one day while the guys fished.

this is one of my favorite pics of the day

After realizing the fishing was a no go in Nokomis and without any TV to watch or internets to browse, we decided to head back to Clearwater.  Shortly after we got back we went to Anclote Key where they have the best shells ever and also some great photo opps.

Novaleigh

I mean, seriously, how cute is this picture?

Kaitlin and Novaleigh

My sister and I found that shipwrecked vessel on the Island and convinced Kaitlin and Novaleigh to pose in it.

But then we decided we needed to pose in it too.

me and ang

Except we’re awkward and I couldn’t sit straight on the bow and my sister obviously had some important phone call to make or something.  Because we were supposed to be shipwrecked you know.

Later that night after we got home we went to a local restaurant called Ford’s Garage.

Ford's Garage

I highly recommend this place.  It was awesome.  Look at the burgers:

ford's Garage

And the onion rings come out on an oil thingy and the napkins are garage rags held together with hose clamps.  I kid you not.

Fords

And if none of that impresses you, check out the bathroom sink…

We also went to Weeki Wachee which I was really excited about because my sister hadn’t been there since we were kids.

weeki wachee

Why yes, that is a potato chip raft and a pizza raft, don’t judge.

My highlight of that whole trip was the mother and baby manatee.

manatees

The last full day the guys went fishing and the girls went shopping and then we all went to Tarpon Springs for dinner.  I didn’t take any pictures while we were there because it was already dark and it was raining a bit.

They left on Saturday morning and I miss them so much already.  But there is one thing I don’t miss.

When the kid was little, we had a wind up music box I could play to help him fall asleep, or the mobile on his bed which played music, but kids today have youtube.  And I would like to personally thank the ass hat who came up with the gem of a song below because I sing it all the damn time now and I cannot stop.

And now, I pass this gem onto you…

Even through all the beaching and shopping and playing, I still managed to run 23 miles for the week.  Not bad.  Vacation is fun but now it’s back to the real world.

Where is the last place you went on vacation?

Has your house ever been struck by lightning?