WTF Wednesday, Santa letters

I was out running this morning and one of my neighbors had just put out all of her Christmas decorations.  I’m familiar with most of the neighbors and what they put out every year so I was surprised to see this particular neighbor had some new decorations.  One in particular caught my eye because it was a real looking mailbox with big white letters that read, ‘Letters for Santa’.

letters for santa

How cool would it be to have one of those mailboxes and actually let the kids in the neighborhood drop their letters in because let’s face it, those letters are hilarious.

Like this one from a possible future Kardashian:

Taylor Swift tickets

Don’t buy her a video camera Santa!

Or this one from a little girl who watched a movie that she probably shouldn’t have been watching.

Krampus letter

Now, if you really wanted to teach her a lesson, a Chuckie doll might do it.

But my favorite letters by far are from the cynics.  God Bless em.  This letter is one of my all time favorites.

emoji letter

How about those middle finger emoji’s?  That letter is my everything!  Hilarious.

And this last letter has been trending on twitter lately.  Apparently this little boy had to write the letter for his class and I’m thinking, he didn’t wan’t to.

Cynical santa letter

According to his mother, the trouble in his life is his brother.  Bwahahaha.

I don’t really remember any of my letters to Santa but I do remember when I was 5 or 6 my mom took me and my sister and brother to see Santa.  In the picture Santa’s hat has a giant ball which is hitting me in the face and I remember vividly how itchy it was. I was not pleased.  And I was scared.

I also remember that he made me extremely nervous but I didn’t want my mother or my sister to know so I put on a brave face and sat on his fat lap and when he spoke he asked me if I had been a good girl.  I shook my head up and down and so he asked me what I wanted for Christmas.  I was frozen and I was afraid to speak.  He asked again and for some reason in my tiniest voice I said, ‘a rainbow’.  A rainbow!  I was just so happy to get off his lap that I didn’t care if that’s what I got or not but anyone who knows me would know my list would have probably looked like the first one above.

Scared of Santa

I feel your pain little one.

Do you wish you could secretly read the letters to Santa?

Did you like to visit Santa when you were little?

I’m goin up the country tell me if you wanna go

There’s a commercial that comes on frequently and if I hear it, I catch an earworm that plaques me throughout the day.  It tortures MacGyver because I can’t help myself, I sing it incessantly.  Badly, I might add.  Think Miranda Sings from Haters Back Off.  Yeah, sorry for the image.

It’s impossible not to sing it.  I promised I wouldn’t share with you lest you catch the earworm too but I need you to share in my obsession and also annoy anyone and everyone around you.

I wanted to know more about Canned Heat after I heard that song.  So, I went to YouTube and listened to some of their songs and then I read in the comments of one song that the band had a tragic story so I went to Google for the 411 and then it happened and I fell down the rabbit hole.

Two hours later I realized I had missed a work deadline.  And it all started because of a damn insurance commercial and an earworm.  Dammit!  I still have no idea whose commercial it is but I’m banning myself from Google until after work.

However, while I was on my quest for the tragic story of Canned Heat  I also found this story about Dr. Reynolds, a high school principal who could probably make any kid love school, check her out.  Seriously, check her out.  I have no idea how long it  took her to learn that dance but dayumm, it was awesome!

WTF it’s Wednesday and I really need to get my ass to work and also teach autocorrect that earworm is an actual thing.

What is the one earworm that drives you crazy?

Any teachers out there?  Would you dance with the school dance or step team?

WTF Wednesday, Skittle Squirrel

Last night was once again a success.  Hank the dog who normally wants to bite the face off of any stranger who comes to the front door turned into the charming King of Halloween per usual.

Hank

Boomer unfortunately feel asleep shortly after donning his peacock costume.

Peacock dog

The peacocks in the neighborhood were very confused by the whole situation and kept coming to the front door to check out Hank who was on post.

Dog and Peacock

My favorite costume of the night was a young man in a suit with a hello my name is tag that said ‘sorry’.  He took one look at my face and could tell I was confused when he said, ‘I can tell my costume is perplexing to you.  In case you’re wondering, I’m a formal apology.’

Punny costumes rock!

This morning as Mom and I walked the dogs we saw candy wrappers everywhere.  Most of them were empty, except for one, a pack a skittles.  We only noticed because a neighborhood squirrel was ripping the package open and having an eating frenzy.  When we got a little too close he ran up the tree with his skittle package and little skittles falling from the sky.  It was hilarious!  I’m going back to same area later to see if he has a sugar high.

halloween squirrel

TRICK OR TREAT!

Have you ever worked with people that drove you crazy?  Have you ever wanted to quit a job so badly it just drove you nuts?  Well, so did Syd Hardy, who worked for Nippybus.  This is a portion of the email he sent to his employees:

“There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you have had enough,” the note continued. “I have had enough and realise I cannot work with you, the people I employ, a moment longer.  There comes a time in any relationship when you just have to say ‘Fuck it’, say goodbye and move on. This is my time! I am quitting to pursue my dream of not having to work here.

The gates are now closed and will not open so you can stay in your scratchers and have a lie in.”

Call me Syd, you’re the type of guy I’d like to have a beer with!

I was watching the Wendy Williams show yesterday when she passed out.  Did any of you catch that?  And if you did, did you think it was part of the show at first because I did.  That was crazy. I hope she is okay and doesn’t push herself just because she has such a strong work ethic.  Maybe she could take a day off and hang out with Syd…

One more thing, I had my appointment with the sports therapist yesterday.  After an hour and a half I walked out feeling great, not because of the session so much but because on my list of ‘homework’ to do, the second thing was ‘run’!  Hell yes, this is my kind of therapist.  I should probably fax his orders to all the doctors who told me running was bad for me and I just might.

WTF, it’s Wednesday, and in spite of all the things going on in this crazy world, I hope we can all have a laugh and enjoy life,  if only for a minute.  It’s good for your soul.