We finally got some good news at the vet yesterday. That morning I took Hank for a little walk and he pooped a little soft poop. Not that you need to know that but really, you do. When we got to the vets office Hank’s little swelling was almost unrecognizable and the vet determined that there was no obvious hole from a hernia and it must have been swollen because of his stomach issues, so we could just take a wait and see approach.
But then she went on to explain that Hank has very large balls. Only she didn’t exactly say it like that. It was more like, the large blah, blah, blah, and the rise in testosterone from the doohicky in the watchamacallit could be a problem in the future. It could result in a serious hernia that will need surgery. So I asked her what could be done to keep that from happening and she said, we need to castrate him.
That wasn’t really Hank’s reaction because he has no idea what castration actually means but it was close to MacGyver’s reaction.
After we left the vet Hank and I came straight home because I am really behind in work and can’t afford to dick around. When we walked through the lanai up to the back door I noticed the back door was open and I thought I had closed it.
I didn’t give it too much thought as Hank and I entered the house but then I saw this:
Oh My God!
I slowly backed up as I dialed 911 and then I heard the bird make his loud ‘PEW’ sound and I was hoping he was okay and I was wondering where Boomer was and hoping no one had hurt him.
Just as that thought entered my head and the 911 operator answered the phone I looked down at the floor and saw Hank’s food bowl, the very same bowl I had put way up high on the table so that Boomer wouldn’t eat it while we were gone.
Emergency Services Lady: 911 What is your emergency?
Me: Bad dog, BAD DOG!
Emergency Services Lady: Excuse me? Ma’am?
Me: Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I thought someone broke into my house but it was just my dog. My dog is the thief, a food thief. I’m so sorry.
The operator laughed and asked me if I was sure I was okay and I assured her that I was but that I couldn’t say the same for my dog because he was in big trouble. We hung up after that but I think she had to follow some sort of protocol, (or else she just wanted to hear about what kind of idiot calls 911 for a dog food burglar), because she sent two cop cars by.
I was mortified. Boomer was still in a food coma.
Do you have dogs?
Have they been spayed or neutered? If so, did you do it when they were younger or older?