Welcome to Decorators Anonymous….

Happy Friday y’all!  Today is turning out to be the best day ever!  Seriously, you just have no idea.  I’m beyond the moon excited.  Let’s just go ahead and dive in.

First, tomorrow is this little guy’s big day, he’s turning 7.

Hank the Tank

He’s adorable and full of attitude and I love him like crazy.    And yes, we’re having a little party for him.  Just me, MacGyver, Boomer and Woody are attending.  It’s a small affair, nothing too big.  We wouldn’t want the neighbors to think we were crazy or anything.  Besides, we’ll take them all leftover doggie cake later in the day.

side eye

Uh, did that neighbor just bring us doggie cake?

Did anyone else have to Google the word Dotard?  I have no shame in telling you that I did.  I will readily admit that Kim Jong Un actually taught me a new word.  He also reminded me of the definition of another one: Megalomaniac.

megalomaniac

Last night I spent 15 minutes in the Walmart parking lot trying to figure out what was wrong with my car.  If you follow me on Instagram, you already know the answer.  It was just one of my stupid human tricks.  Apparently, I’ve got lots of them.

Today is actually the first day of fall.  I’m so excited for new TV shows!  Oh my God, that makes me sound so old!  But seriously, the Mick, new episodes and new episodes of Stranger Thngs and new episodes of The Walking Dead and the list goes on and on and on……

And I wish we didn’t have all of the sticks and debris still laying at the edge of our lawn because I want to start decorating for Halloween already.  I know it’s early but I’m going to go ahead and do it this weekend.  Even though it isn’t any cooler really, it makes me think it is.

Besides, I love decorations.  Halloween isn’t as exciting as Christmas but it’s still a fun holiday and I love to decorate.  I get a little carried away though.  I always say, ‘Oh no really, I’m going simple this year.  I’ll just pop a few pumpkins or some hay by the front door.’  And this is what I have in mind.

Halloween

Understated Elegance, right?

Or maybe even adding this:

Halloween decoration

You know, just off to the side. One little thing.

And that’s how it starts.  And this is usually what I end up with.

BOO!

Happy Friday!  What are your plans for the weekend?

The pooping perp that pooped a poop

My heart breaks for the people of Puerto Rico right now.  The entire Island is without power and the reports are saying that it could take six months before it is completely restored. There is complete devastation with over 80% of the homes being damaged.  It’s just heartbreaking.

If you’d like to donate, you can do so here.

Today is Throwback Thursday.  Here’s a fun game to play.  It’s a slide of TV commercials and you get to see the slogan and you have to guess the product.  Play it and see how many you get.  I got most of them but not all, but the main thing is, it was fun.  So play it!

One last thing today because you know, I’m not supposed to be using my hand, hehe, did you hear about the pooping perp?  The crazy chick in Colorado who runs in the neighborhood and just randomly poops on people’s sidewalks?  Well, at first I just thought, hey, maybe it was a one time thing, one of those, I have to go NOW kind of deals.  We’ve all been there, right?  But then, I watched the actual news video and apparently this lady is a pooping pro.  Check it out.

Feel free to spread the word, maybe we can catch this pooping perp before it gets worse and she actually enters someone’s house and uses their bathroom!  On a serious note, if you do find her could you ask her what she’s eating for fiber?  I mean she could have the cure for constipation for all we know!

What’s the funniest running poop story you’ve ever heard?

WTF Wednesday, row, row, row with your mate….

I wonder if there are divorce statistics on Hurricane season anywhere.  During Irmageddon MacGyver and I had more rows than we’ve had in the last five years.  Seriously.  And they were stupid ones too.

Like whether or not he was only trying to save the items in the garage because he only cares about his tools and not our furniture and whether I was saving the garden gnomes because I actually like them or because they were outside and could actually become missiles during the storm.

So not kidding

No, really I wish I was kidding.  And that’s just one example, they got even stupider but I’d rather not embarrass myself further.

Both of us were exhausted.  Remember that we had to prepare for Irma which meant we had days of preparing the houses by storing and then boarding up everything, and then we had to deal with the stress of the hurricane itself, and then we had to deal with the aftermath.  Fortunately, Englewood had very little damage at all but Nokomis and Clearwater were littered with fallen trees and we had some fallen fence panels in Nokomis and since we’re selling it, that home took priority.

A shameless plug for my house for sale here….

The County is actually picking up all the debris.  All you have to do is drag it to the curb but we didn’t want potential home buyers to have to navigate around all of the debris that would surely have been stacked a mile high at the curb.  Also, there was  the issue of time since the county didn’t give a date as to when they would be picking the debris up, so instead we loaded the majority of the trunks of the trees in the bed of the pickup truck and made a few trips to the dump.  That’s why I now have nerve pain in my hand and arm, and MacGyver has back pain.

Yes, we're stupid

Yes, yes we are.

And that’s also why I’m talk typing and why my post is late because it took me 25 minutes to get the computer to recognize Irmageddon, which it didn’t, and I had to type it, and it hurt, and so I suffered for this post, but it was all for you.  Don’t worry though, I argued with the computer.

WTF, it’s Wednesday and it’s not the same when you argue with your computer because all caps doesn’t have the same effect!  Stupid Computer.