Wanna know if you’re a bad person? I can probably tell you. Well, let me clarify. If you live in my neighborhood or rather in the vicinity in which I run every day, I can tell you, because I see you every day, and I watch you.
Don’t get me wrong, I mean, I’m not without fault. I’m a bad person too. I’ve been known to sneak into the kitchen late at night and drink straight from whatever carton is in the fridge. I also let my dogs lick me right on the face and I ain’t even sorry about it. It’s the reason my Mother in law often teases me and says that I french kiss my dogs and breast feed baby Hank. (Hank is my dachshund and no, I don’t really breas feed him, I may have french kissed him once but it was not by choice.)
Once when MacGyver and I had a bit too much to drink we got a little freaky on the boat, except the boat wasn’t in the water, it was on the trailer. Parked. In the front yard. I continue to honor the family name to the best of my ability.
But there is no doubt about it, the one thing that I do that is decent and good is take care of myself. I get up early every morning and I go running. And in my quest for health I see all kinds of people and I judge and I am not gonna lie about it, because you’re all bad people just like me.
When you take your dog for a walk at 6AM and it’s still dark and you don’t think anyone else is out and you forgot your little doggie bags, and your dog shits in someone’s yard and you don’t think anyone sees it so you don’t pick it up, I see you! You are bad.
And when you put your garbage in your neighbor’s trash cans (who happens to be on vacation) because you forgot to take yours out last week and all of your cans are full, (with mostly beer cans.) You are a bad person.
Or when you put in new windows or a new fence without a permit on a weekend when you know you aren’t supposed to, I know what you did, and you are bad.
I see the things that people in cars would have a hard time seeing because they wouldn’t have the vantage point that I do and I’m always watching you.
I could tell you where all the things happen in my neighborhood. I also know which houses to steer clear of and where not to run when the sun goes down. I always joke that if the cops ever want information about anything that happens in our neighborhood all they have to do is ask the runners, but the truth is, that’s exactly what they do. Fortunately, except for the squatters, who are long gone, we don’t have all that much drama around here.
Just bad people. And really, we’re all kind of bad in one way or another, aren’t we?
Do you find that you know more about your neighborhood since you started running? Or am I just nosy?