WTF Wednesday – Bacon Bandages.

I don’t always purchase a real tree at Christmas. I’ve got several artificial ones that I’ve acquired over the years so I can usually just put those up and reach my 6 tree minimum but sometimes I get a wild hair up my ass and go get a real tree. This is one of those years.
my christmas tree

And then MacGyver showed me this video…

Great, give the ocd woman something else to worry about!

So just before we left last week to go down south, I put a crap load of water in the bottom to prevent it from drying out and made sure to turn off all the lights and unplug everything.

When we got home I could smell that lovely pine as soon as I walked through the door. Then I turned the corner and I was greeting by this…

the yellowest tree
Y’all, I’ve got myself a big yeller tree!

I must have overwatered. My beautiful green pine tree is now yellow.  And since we’re on the subject of colors, do you know what’s worse than stepping in dog shit while wearing your favorite running shoes?

Not realizing that you stepped in dog shit until you’ve walked all over your beautiful, but oh so hard to clean, sheepskin rug.

ah jeez
It’s not like I even have time to attempt to clean it because I’ve been very busy this week catching up on year end stuff and also trying to get my last minute shopping done so I can mail out packages.  And if that wasn’t enough, I had to schedule a quick meeting with the big man, you know Mr. Claus, because apparently the guys think their stocking stuffer’s have gotten too predictable.

I usually let the Claus know that we like whimsical and practical in our stockings but I guess he’s been sort of complacent in his choices the last few years because, well, the guys got socks.

oh yeah

I mean socks are practical but the guys would like something ‘whimsical and practical‘, because no one really ever got excited over socks, did they?

So I met with the big man and when I asked him if he was up to the task, he assured me that he was.

you betcha

Everyone at the North Pole speaks like they’re from Faaaahhhrgooooooooooo, don’t cha know?

This morning I received a personal email from the man himself, (yeah, we’re tight like that) letting me know that the stuffer’s were on the way. In case you have any doubts at all, Santa is on top of his game, because these presents are on point. I’m pretty sure the guys are gonna have a different reaction this year.

Let me show you what ‘whimsical and practical‘ looks like:

bacon bandages

Because injuries never looked so good….

You can get your own bacon bandages here.

sanitizer

Another hit! Way to go St. Nick!  (P.S. this stuff is good for runners too 😉 )

You can get your own hand sanitizer here.

What can I tell you, the man is good. I should have told him I need a new stocking…

Maybe this one…..

running stocking

You can click on the stocking to order it….. (Santa)….just sayin.

Now, if you plan on getting some goodies this year, make sure you wind up on the nice list and not the naught list, like these people.

stealing decorations

Wait, didn’t the Grinch steal decorations????

Buy your own decorations!  Jeez.

WTF, it must be Wednesday!

Now give me a wtf moment from your week! 

Or you can tell me what’s on your Christmas list.

6 thoughts on “WTF Wednesday – Bacon Bandages.

  1. I just snorted out loud… in my office… people are starring at me. Great post though and thank you for the entertaining random recap! The bacon bandages are clearly the definition of “whimsical and practical”!

  2. This post is cracking me UP. So hard. I haven’t had a nice dog shit incident in a while, but I have had some awesome cat vomit problems. As in, my husband stepped right in it the other day, and Zoe also vomited all over one of my bras and my kindle. Thanks, dear.

    • I’m pretty sure cat vomit is way worse than dog shit on most days. Although dog vomit may trump them all. Especially when you have to dig through it for a ridiculous expensive flea killing pill that they may or may not have vomited up…speaking totally from experience here, unfortunately…ah, I’ve got the life 🙂

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