In the small town of Chadron, Nebraska, the local paper includes a column called the Police Beat. The column is comprised of a selection of calls received through the local 911 system. Now, I’m sure the Chadron police receives a fair amount of serious calls as well but the ones they print in the paper are downright hilarious and it’s become a weekly read for me. Here’s a sample of some of the calls from the column.
10 a.m. – Caller in the 800 block of Maple Street requested assistance with his daughter as she does not want to get up for school
7:44 p.m. – Caller advised her brother had found a vehicle key with keyless entry on a lanyard 5 miles south on Highway 385. Caller advised she will be putting it on SwapShop tomorrow
8:15 p.m. – Caller in the 500 block of Linden Street requested an officer as a man is “trying to part out the shopping carts”
12:12 p.m. – Caller in the 200 block of North Lake Street advised of a dog that was “hung up” in the house next to his. Caller could not differentiate directions and was not sure if it was north or south of his house, but it was next door in the back yard.
If you get a chance, check out the column here. It’s always a hoot.
I’ve got an idea for a new backsplash for the kitchen in my Nokomis house. I want to use sea glass, starfish, sand dollars and seashells that I’ve collected from the area and design some sort of mural. I found a video tutorial of how to build the backsplash using the shells and a mortar mix and I wrote down the ingredients and measurements for the mortar.
MacGyver saw the directions laying on the counter and assumed it was a recipe, which is kind of funny because I never cook. Anyway, the mortar mix is from a company called mapei and this is what I had written down:
Mix 1 pint of water for 5 lbs of mapei, blend 10 minutes and let sit for 5 minutes, then blend for 2 more minutes.
MacGyver read it and said, “Is this a new recipe? Are you making Thai food or something Asian?” And I replied, “No, seafood.” Sometimes, it’s just too easy.
I was at the Wal-Mart yesterday and as I was placing my items on the conveyor I was listening to the lady in front of me talk to the cashier. It was mostly silly small talk.
After the cashier rang her up the lady handed her a $100 bill and then said, ‘could I get small bills in change?’ I have to admit that my heart ached a little for the future of this country when I heard the cashier say, ‘ma’am our bills only come in one size.’
WTF? It must be Wednesday!
Tell me your WTF moment of the week.