WTF Wednesday, eating spiders.

Good Morning!

I went for a run at 7am this morning. It was cold, 51 degrees. Perfect running weather. Unfortunately it will only rise to about 60 this afternoon but that’s okay. It beats what the Northeast is getting, those poor souls. Bless your hearts. I don’t think I would survive an hour, seriously.

See, even dogs hate snow.

Meet my Spirit Animal!

MacGyver and I have noticed some tunnels running throughout our backyard lately, which seem to originate from a little hole in our side gate. So, MacGyver went out and got a few of those humane traps. I expected to find a mole or a hedgehog or something kind of cute, but in one week, we’ve had 2 possums and an armadillo. Not cute!

possum

That whole playing possum thing is bullshit. This little booger hissed, growled and tried to bite my ass!

Fortunately for us, the nature park down the street accepted them and I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to fully stock them by spring, as long as it’s possums and armadillos that they want.

Have y’all seen that show ‘Alaskan Bush People’? In case you haven’t here’s the way the Discovery Channel describes the show:

Deep in the Alaskan wilderness lives a newly discovered family who was born and raised wild. Billy Brown, his wife Ami and their seven grown children – 5 boys and 2 girls – are so far removed from civilization that they often go six to nine months of the year without seeing an outsider. They’ve developed their own accent and dialect, refer to themselves as a “wolf pack,” and at night, all nine sleep together in a one-room cabin. Simply put, they are unlike any other family in America.

alaskan bush people

Yes because the last time I checked that is definitely a skill.

They bring stupid to a whole new level. And also, that dialect they’ve developed is more like a speech impediment that oddly enough seems to only affect the children. It’s strange at the very least.

This is supposed to be a family that lives off the land. They barter for clothes and other necessities. So, can somebody explain to me how it is that every single member of this ‘bush family’ is wearing Hunter boots. HUNTER. BOOTS. That’s some serious coin for any family of 9, but especially one with no discernible income. I’m callin bullshit on that show.

I'd like to have 9 pairs of Hunter Boots!

I’d like to have 9 pairs of Hunter Boots!

Last night I got a text from my niece regarding the dates of her spring break. She comes down every year for spring break and brings the entire town, and by entire town I mean, only her closest BFF’s.

Anyway, MacGyver and I were in the middle of a movie and since the great phone debacle of a few weeks ago, my touch pad doesn’t work well and I have to use the microphone to reply to any text. So I put the phone close to my mouth and said, “K. Watching American Sniper, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

But my phone typed out, “K. Watching Mom eat a spider, ongoing sorrow.”

Ugh, no phone. Just. No.

So I tried again, “K. Watching American Sniper. Call you tomorrow.”

The phone typed, “K. Watching Mom off a spider calling her Zoro.”

MacGyver was getting annoyed as I disrupted the movie. WTF? My phone is possessed! I’m certain of it. After the third try, the phone typed out the correct message and I hit send. Immediately after I did, I wished I would have sent one of the first two because in hindsight, they were epic.

WTF, it must be Wednesday!

Now, give me a WTF moment from your week. Go!

4 thoughts on “WTF Wednesday, eating spiders.

  1. Ha! That’s hilarious. I was using the voice texting to tell my daughter to start cooking the French fries and it came up with something about hot guys. It made me smile.

  2. Now, don’t be hatin’ on the darling possums. We have one living in our yard. Occasionally I have run-ins with him when I take a seat on the stoop at night. The best was years ago, my sweet dog Max was a gentle giant. I swear it was like some Disney film, without the sadness. Birds and squirrels would be within feet of him and he wouldn’t move. Anyways, one morning he is crying outside. I go to the door and he gently grabs my hand, as if to say, “come on Mom. I got something to show you.” He drags me behind the garage and he plants himself next to a sprawled out possum. He was so upset. I uttered “Max, what did you do to him?” Drag him inside to grab a shovel to pick him up and VOILA he is gone. Yes, they play dead. My pup did the same with kittens that were just born out back. He was brokenhearted by their cries.

    The only armadillos I have seen were dead on the side of the road in TX.

    Never heard of that show, but I HATE it already. Those parents are MORONS! Fine if you want to do that to yourselves, but their children deserve a life. That’s even coming from someone who fantasizes about living many miles away from civilization.

    My WTF for the week. The flippin’ router that keeps shutting down so that I have to reconfigure everything in my home. The boyfriend does not do any of that. My job. He sure can give me the look when he can’t get into the Netflix because of it though. I blame him. He probably gave us a virus clicking on some link. UGH! Wait, I also got into a mouthing words and hand gesture fight with an idiot in the car next to me in the drive-thru. I WON since I got my food first. He was pissed that I chose the lane next to him and it moved faster. Bonehead!

    • LOL, MacGyver gets viruses on the reg and it makes me all kinds of ragey.

      Your Max sounds just like my Boomer, what a sweetheart. I wish everybody could have a dog like that.

      And be careful in those drive-thru’s, that’s the one place your almost certain to encounter the crazies. 🙂

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