An open letter to Nabisco, regarding your Oreo Cookies.

Dear Nabisco,
I am writing to you today to let you know how utterly disappointed I am in your company. I’m sure you don’t hear that too often what with your vast selection of wonderful treats. For the record let me just state that many of your products were among my favorites back in my ‘eat all the cookies every time’ days. Fortunately, I’ve overcome that obsession and am happy to admit that for the past few years I’ve been able to stop at just two, well most of the time, but I digress.

CookiesLet’s get to the heart of it shall we? Last year a few weeks before Halloween I happened to be shopping at the local Target store when I saw your Halloween Oreo’s with the orange filling. Since the original Oreo Cookies were never one of my favorites, I felt that I could easily refrain from eating the entire bag if I purchased them and so I did. I know, it’s crazy logic but just go with it.

As I was standing in line to pay I also noticed your Candy Corn Oreo Cookies so I threw a bag of those in as well. It was an insignificant purchase that would go on to hover over my family like a dark cloud for the next year.

candy corn oreos

Little did I know….

Once I brought those cookies home, I placed them in the cabinet and didn’t give them much thought until my son came home. Since I prefer the yellow cookies best, I opened the Candy Corn Oreo’s and handed one to my son as I ate the other. That is precisely the moment that my world changed. Candy Corn Oreo’s rock, plain and simple and I immediately fell in love. You obviously knew what you were doing.

Dr. Who

OMG, there absolutely delicious!

Later that evening my husband and I left for a 4 day vacation. When we reached our vacation home and started to unpack I realized that I had forgotten to bring the oreo’s. I was so looking forward to having some once we returned home that it was all I could think about. So, you can only imagine how upset I was when I returned and then realized that my kid and all his friends had devoured both bags and they were gone. GONE!

Crying real tears

You ate all of them? Every single one?

After sobbing for a good 30 minutes I got in my car and drove to the local Target to buy more. Unfortunately they were sold out, and so was every other Target for a 100 mile radius and I know this because I either drove there or called them.

Desperate times call for desperate measures so I called my Mom in Tennessee and put her on the quest. She also went to or called all of the local area Target stores and found…nothing. Is there a reason you couldn’t offer these in any other store? After two weeks of hunting the only place we could find them was Amazon. I love those cookies but I’ll be damned if I’m paying 11 bucks plus shipping for them. Just not. I was just going to have to wait a year.

My son felt horrible about the situation and over the last year he has purchased Birthday Cake Oreo’s, Double Stuffed Oreo’s, and even Cookie Dough Oreo’s for me, but none of them compared. I knew that my son was remorseful that he had eaten all of mine, but I just couldn’t let it go. My disappointment was as obvious as the nose on my face and I brought up the ‘great cookie caper’, as it’s become known, quite regularly.

he ate them all
Over the course of the year any time I saw a bag of Oreo’s I mentioned how much I really wanted those Candy Corn Oreo’s so you can just imagine how excited I was when September rolled around. I saw the Halloween Oreo’s with the Orange filling at Wal-mart a week ago so this weekend I decided to make the trek to Target. I knew it was time.

YOLOI saw the Oreo bag from across the store and I made my way towards it. I got closer and closer until I was right on top of them and then I saw the yellow bag. I carefully approached it looking for the familiar Candy Corn on the bag but instead…..
I saw this:

What in the hell is this Nabisco?

What the hell is this Nabisco?

What? Really Nabisco? Are you kidding me? Why? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? I was confused, and dumbfounded. I asked the cashier about the Candy Corn Oreo’s and she told me that it had been Limited Edition cookie and this year the Limited Edition is the Caramel Apple Oreo’s and she got all uppity with me as if I should have known!

in my face
For a solid year I have dreamt about the Candy Corn Oreo’s. I have waited patiently. I have remained faithful. All of this even though I have only had one of your delightfully, delicious cookies, just one Nabisco, one. Apparently, I will never have another…. unless ..and here’s my idea.

Would you consider releasing another limited edition of your Candy Corn Oreo’s? If you were so inclined to do so, I would almost positively end my self-imposed 2 cookie limit to ensure the success of your sales. You could also put an end to this dark cloud that has been hanging over my family for the past year. My son could redeem himself and purchase many bags of them. And don’t worry about the marketing team, they could just call it a 2nd year limited edition. There would be no need to change the packaging. I’ve already figured all of this out so if you need my help with marketing strategies, please feel free to give me a call. I may not be experienced in cookie sales per se, but when it comes to eating them I’m somewhat of an expert. Of course, I offer my services free of charge or we could work out some sort of trade. I have a special affinity for the Candy Corn Oreo’s in case a barter is in the cards.

happy happy happy

It’s the perfect plan Nabisco, really it is!

Oh, and the Caramel Apple Oreo Cookies… just meh!

I’ll be awaiting your reply,

Signed,
A Candy Corn Oreo loyal, (but somewhat disgruntled), customer in Florida.

12 thoughts on “An open letter to Nabisco, regarding your Oreo Cookies.

  1. Hilarious! I feel your pain… Totally hate when a favorite is a limited edition. They better never get rid of the salted Carmel gu or I will go postal.

  2. I refrained from buying those dang candy corn oreos and now I really, really want them. Dang you! I could have sworn I saw them at Target a few weeks ago though…maybe it was the caramel apple?

    LOVE, LOVE this post….particularly the ohh so sexy David Tennant. My Doctor and Oreos….yummm.

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