Remember yesterday when I told you I had recorded my thoughts when I ran Tuesday morning? Well, I did.
The thoughts that go through my head when I’m running are varied and scattered and maybe not all that sane. I was thinking about this as I took off for my run yesterday, mainly because I found an old mp3 player from like 2004 and it has a built-in recorder…AND IT STILL WORKS! hmmmmm. The perfect opportunity presented itself and I was actually able to record my thoughts while out on my morning run….
I transcribed them from the mp3 player last night and they are, well, I’m not sure what they are. But after listening to those excerpts and typing them all out and then sorting them into some semblance of order, I realized they are mostly random thoughts, from a nut. Said nut, of course, is me.
And with that being said, there’s no time like the present so without further adieu, here are the thoughts that go through my head when I’m out running 5 and a half miles. I’ve left out the panting, it was just too embarrassing.
.02 miles – I wonder why my Garmin always says my pace is way faster the first few minutes of my run. Maybe I should pay more attention to the way I run in the first few minutes and then mirror that for the whole run. Oh God, one of my neighbors just drove by and watched me talk into this thing. Now she has confirmation that I’m a weirdo.
.15 miles – My legs feel heavy. I just took two days off, why the hell would my legs feel heavy. This is probably a slight incline, I need to look at that later. *It was completely flat.
.35 – Jesus it’s hot! Why the f*ck is it so hot?
.60 – I wonder if I should do the usual mile in my neighborhood and if that will help make the other 5 seem quicker when I get to the trail? *At this point I was still under the impression that I was going to pull of 6 miles, ha!
.80 – Screw the mile in the neighborhood, I’m heading for the trail. It’s too damn hot. Why don’t people mow all of their lawns? If you’re only going to mow a third of it, why bother?
1.02 – Just finished the first mile…? That’s all? Maybe I should speed up a little. This seems to be dragging. Wonder where all the cop cars are going? Probably setting up a speed trap. I should call MacGyver and warn him…nah, he drives like an old lady anyway.
1.31 – Why is that neighbor washing his car at 7am in the morning? Who does that? Before work? He’s got a tie on. I’m not weird, he’s weird.
1.59 – I almost slammed into a peacock. I wonder how many people out there in the world right now actually have to worry about running over peacocks or the occasional emu? Okay maybe in some remote areas of the world but I’m talking about people living in a largely populated, urban community. Does this happen to anyone else? I need to google this when I get home. *I did google this and apparently peacocks overrunning neighborhoods is quite common but I did not find one story of runners and peacocks. Go figure.
2.04 – Mile 2 and I haven’t even gotten into Kapok park, sweet. I’m further than I thought and it’s not too hot. 1/3 of the way to finish. I wonder if I’ll see any gators or bunnies….but not together.
2.23 – I really need to do the landscaping in my backyard, it’s a mess. Maybe I can do some of it later this afternoon. Kapok Park has the best landscaping but they also have park staff to do it, I wonder if any of them freelance.
2.47 – Don’t forget to look on Craigslist for wood blinds for the lanai. I should really plan out how to decorate my lanai, that would help pass time. Maybe I should only say running related things into this recorder except that I never thing about running while I’m running….
2.55 – Shit, why is it so hot? Is it really that hot?
2.72 – Finally I’m on the trail. I need shade. If I run to the end of the trail that’ll put me at 3.9 and then back would put me at 5.0 so maybe I should just end this run at 5.5 and avoid the hill back to the house. I hate that damn hill. I hate in when walkers won’t move to the side or even single file, what the hell?
2.90 – Jesus this hill is like a 10% incline, it’s ridiculous. Maybe I should walk it. NO, don’t walk, it’s almost over. I just passed two of the path regulars, they cannot see me walk, I will not walk.
3.33 – I wonder what the dogs are doing? I think I’m bored with my house and maybe I need to redecorate something. I should think about that.
3.46 – This bridge doesn’t look so bad but it’s torture right now. It’s hot and I hate this bridge and lately every time I run over it I want to die. DIE. I have to run over it coming back….ugh. Don’t think about it.
3.68 – I’m not really tired, I’m just hot. OMG that lady is like 65 and she just blew past me like I was standing still. She is not sweating, not at all. Freak! That. Just. Sucks.
3.71 – Two bikers just passed me. I felt their wind. I wish more would pass.
3.89 – Turn around, YES!
4.1 – Maybe I should stop just for a second and drink some water. No, I need to get to the end at least. I can drink a little while I’m running. I’m not tired, I actually feel pretty good, just hot, really hot.
4.27 – I have a love and hate relationship with the weather…I wonder if I could convince MacGyver that we should move up North for the summer. No, I wouldn’t like that. I love the beach too much. Maybe I should try running on the beach, at the shoreline, where my feet could get wet….my feet are wet right now, but that’s sweat. Gross.
4.58 – Good Lord and little baby Jesus! I hate this freakin bridge! I wonder what would happen if I had a heart attack on this bridge. I wonder if they could find my I.D. or if they would even know where to look. Knowing my luck it would be the cigar smoking, homeless guy who would try to give me CPR….note to self, don’t have a heart attack on the bridge.
4.78 – F*ck it, I’m walking up this hill.
4.92 – Start running again. Maybe I can make it to 6 miles…I don’t feel tired, just hot.
5.3 – I’ll stop at 5.5 miles, that’ll be enough for today, it’s too hot to go any further. I’m so hot. I need water.
5.45 – I’ll walk the last little bit while I drink my weight in water.
5.5 – Done. Maybe I should start running again and finish the 6…no, I’m done but I think I’ll do 7 tomorrow. That felt pretty good. I’d say that was a good run.
What do you think about when you’re running?
What’s the weirdest thing that ever happened to you while you were running?