About once a month I take a look at the search terms to see how people might have come to find my little Ole blog on these crazy Internets. Sometimes the results are funny, sometimes they’re predictable, sometimes they get serious and at other times, they are downright scary.
Instead of just telling you what those searches are, I’ve decided to handle it a bit differently. This time, I’m going to provide the answer to those searches in the hopes that if the original searcher happens to search again, boom, they will find the correct and most knowledgeable answer available.
So without further adieu, here’s what you little sicko’s are searching for this month and my responses.
Do you pee your pants while running?
Sometimes, yes. I pee my pants when I’m running. See: I live in Clearwater, my Uterus lives in Key West.
Is a housewife’s work sedentary?
Well, I guess it is, if everything is remote control, but I have yet to locate something that will actually pick the laundry up off the floor and take it to the machine or clean the dishes from the table and put them in the dishwasher. If you have that machine, please send it to me for evaluation and review. Unfortunately, here at UpandHumming, we do not return items to their original owners, so I’ll need to keep said machine. Sorry, it’s policy.
Will running a half marathon make me half marathoner?
Maybe, if you finish but will reading a book make you smarter? Probably not.
What is cray cray?
Cray cray is crazy, but the crazier thing is why you searched it and found this blog, that’s totally cray!
What is a yoga fart?
I am pretty sure it’s the same as a regular fart but if you fart in yoga class, you should always say ‘Namastink’. Trust me on this one.
Pulling plants in ass
I just can’t even…what? Seriously? What the hell? And why here? I just don’t…Maybe you mean, pulling pranks in class or pulling in your ass while doing planks. no? Please call the therapist…and maybe your priest.
Why does my urine look like coca cola?
Why are you not calling the doctor would be a better question? Call one, NOW!
I love you, I love food.
Uh, this is awkward, but I like you and I do love food.
Is this a picture of me sweating you?
No. But this is:
So what do you think? Should I make this feature a monthly regular on my blog?
What’s the funniest thing anyone ever searched for and landed on your blog?
Tell me a funny internet search story?