I’m not sure if I mentioned it or not but my Mom is coming down later this week to hang out with me for a few weeks. I’m hoping she can help keep me sane while I’m not running. I’m pretty sure she’ll help me spend some money though because we’re pretty adept at the shopping thing.
I called her yesterday to find out exactly when I could expect her to arrive and she told me that her neighbors little boy, Fox, was helping her around the house. So I said, “is that his name?”
She said “yes that’s his name.” So of course I said, “What does the Fox say?” and she replied, “Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!”
My Mom is hilarious!
Yesterday I took a journey all the way over to Wal-Mart, way across the street from my neighborhood. After a 5 minute car ride, I was in searing pain from the sciatic nerve so I was in no mood to stand behind someone and wait while they blocked the aisle but that’s exactly what happened.
All I wanted was one flippin banana but this woman in her 80’s was blocking the entire aisle with her cart and her cane. I didn’t mind waiting a few minutes, I mean, she’s elderly and obviously wants to take her time picking out her 3 damn bananas so I stood there patiently.
After 7 or 8 minutes I decided to circle around and get my banana from the other side but that meant I had to turn around and go back down the aisle, turn into the next aisle go all the way to the end and then turn back toward the first aisle. By the time I did this she was blocking that side. I was pretty much at my wits end at this point but I patiently waited for another 5 or 6 minutes. I finally just said, “excuse me.” I might as well have called her every name in the book because that woman spun around like Dorothy Hamill in her prime and she stared me square in the eye and said, “Why do you have to be in such a god damn hurry? Everybody and their Mother is in a God damn hurry. All I want to do is pick out my bananas in my own Goddamn time. I should just poke your eye out with this banana because you’re just a rude girl, RUDE.” And then she went right back to looking over her damn bananas.
WHAT THE HELL? I don’t even know how you reply to that. What the hell would you say to someone like that? This sweet little old lady just threatened to blind me with a freakin banana! Seriously! What the hell do you say to that? I just sort of backed out easily and then booked it to the other side of the store. I think it took a good 15 minutes before the shock of it actually wore off. It was crazy y’all, and then some. So, you would think the rest of my trip would have been stress free because you have to admit, it’s kind of rare to come across a granny ninja even at the Wal-Mart, but au contraire mon frere, because just when I started to relax, I somehow stumbled into her again in the parking lot….
That’s not really her….but it was a similar scene….
What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you in Wal-Mart?