Ass Rash and Face Plants, it must be WTF Wednesday!

This morning I ran 9 miles around my neighborhood. It was a very slow and easy run but I was still pretty tired afterwards. Sometimes, I am more tired from my slow runs than I am after I do speed work. I’m not sure if that was the case today or if it was because I was trying to run in a bullet proof vest while carrying a baseball bat! Kidding!

I am probably just sore from the workout I did late yesterday, a Tracy Anderson dvd . I should probably clarify that. I didn’t actually get through the whole workout. See, Tracy Anderson used to be a dancer and she’s all coordinated and such. No one has ever described me as graceful, like ever! I put that dvd in and within 5 minutes I was attempting a leg raise while holding my arms out to the side and I fell right on the floor, face plant, booyah!

not graceful

I feel you girl, I do.

That is most likely the last time I will attempt a Tracy Anderson DVD.

Anyway, this morning after I ran, I took a quick shower and grabbed the dogs to take them for their walk. They were super excited this morning and a little pissed that I went running first so I should have known that it was going to be a crazy walk but since I can’t get them to do any other exercise, a walk it is.

Isn't this way more fun that walking?  No?

Isn’t this way more fun that walking? No?

When my dogs are excited they pull on their leashes and they chase anything within a 500 foot radius if it moves. That could be a squirrel, a stray ball, or even a leaf, they aren’t picky chasers my two, they just like the thrill of the hunt.

We headed out on our walk with the usual pulling and me yelling ‘heel’ over and over and after about 10 minutes, they calmed down. That lasted about a minute until another lady came walking by with her dog at which point both of my dogs started pulling again and barking and lunging and basically acting like idiots. What I should have done was take them home but that’s not what I did. No, I kept walking because apparently I’m a glutton for punishment.

We were nearing the end of our walk when I spotted a rogue missile up ahead. A rogue missile is my code for dog off leash. I saw it first and attempted to maneuver the dogs to the opposite side of the street without them noticing. It worked for my dogs but not the rogue missile.

As soon as the other dog saw us he made a beeline for us and just bolted. And he wasn’t quiet either. He was barking and yelping and growling. It was about to get ugly. I didn’t get a picture of the mutant but this is pretty much what he looked like.

Mutant Dog

Hank, my dachshund immediately went into pull mode, yanking the leash and growling back. Boomer sort of made this face

Wait, what?

Which made me think he was going to stay calm, but instead he sort of swayed backwards and then lunged like a mighty 120 pound lion on steroids. The lunge was hard enough to pull my legs out from under me and I landed flat on my ass. That wasn’t embarrassing enough though because he then began to tug right alongside Hank and they began to pull me down the street. Oh and in case you’re wondering, yeah, there were two men working across the street watching the entire event unfold. It was epic comedy.

Now mind you, the mutant dog’s owner was outside the entire time just watching her 4 pound idiot dog try to attack my dogs, (who could easily have eaten him along with their snacks and not even noticed!) So, I am holding on to their leashes for dear life while they drag me down the street and this lady is letting her dog continue to lunge at and then run away from my dogs and all the while she just keeps saying ‘I’m so sorry, are you okay’? Sure lady, I’m fine, what made you think otherwise….seriously?

It wasn’t until I yelled at her to pick up the dog that this incident was over and when it was over, I was left on the ground, muddy and with a serious ass rash! It goes great with the bruise on my forehead from the face plant of yesterday. Graceful? No, not much.

I wish I could walk my dogs like this:

Walking the Dogs

I need to get to level expert.

When is the last time that you fell? Have you ever fallen in public? Did anyone see you?

2 thoughts on “Ass Rash and Face Plants, it must be WTF Wednesday!

    • LOL, no we’ll leave the dogs here. Looks like we’ll be getting a cool down this week. My Friday afternoon looks pretty good, how bout you?

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