Crossing the line…

Do you know that moment when someone crosses the line?

The stupid line that is. The point where someone is speaking and then they say the stupidest thing or completely butcher the English language, so bad in fact that it makes you wince.

I had a carpet cleaning company come out to get out the spots that I couldn’t.  The carpet cleaning guy seemed very knowledgeable and I was pretty impressed with his spiel. He told me about the different types of carpets and what makes one better than the other and how to properly clean them. He spewed off a shit ton of information, about carpets, but on any other subject I’m almost positive the databank was empty.

Case in point: In talking about the way dust and dirt is trapped in carpet, we ended up talking about allergies. All of the sudden carpet man became highly animated and excited as he exclaimed “I know a lot about this subject. More than most, and not because of the carpet cleaning business, but because of my daughter who has severe allergies.”

Now, he should have stopped right there and then told me all about why carpets are bad for allergies. If he had just done that I might still think carpet man was knowledgeable and intelligent, but no, he didn’t. Instead he said, “I had to learn all about this stuff when we found out my daughter was severe hypoallergenic.”

Oh yes, yes he did.

And it was at that point that everything else he said sounded like crickets to me.

A few years ago, MacGyver and I headed over to the Wal-Mart to get some taco shells. You would think that taco shells would be fairly easy to find but for some reason the simplest of items always end up where you would least expect them, especially in Wal-Mart.

After looking for what seemed like forever and becoming frustrated we finally decided to ask the first employee we could find. As one of the stock boys rounded the corner little did we know a conversation would occur that would change the way we shop for taco shells for years to come.

Me: Excuse me, could you tell me where the taco shells are?
Stockboy: They should be over in the ethical aisle.
Me: The Ethical isle?
Stockboy: Yes, the ethical isle.
Me: Is that the aisle where the all the food is moral and good?
Stockboy: Yeah. Oh, and sometimes spicy too.

Y’all, he was dead serious, Bless his little heart.  To this day whenever MacGyver and I buy Taco Shells, we go down the ‘ethical isle’.

You may be wondering why I bring all this up and there is a point.   This morning I went out for a 5 mile run. Toward the end I slowed to a walk just as this man was about to get into his car. He stopped and looked at me and said, “You might want to slow down on all that running you’re doing.”

I asked him why and he said, “You’ll need some orthodontics.”

I said, “What?” And I was wondering why I would need braces from running and I really wanted to know the answer.

He said, “My kid used to run all the time for soccer and he had all kinds of problems with his ankles and his knees. It got so bad we had to take him in to see an orthodontics guy and get him some inserts.”

I shook my head for a second just in case I had something in my ears. Nope. So I replied, “Well, I hope not but if that happens, I’ll be sure to see the right specialist.”

“That’s good”, he said.

I gotta say, that one was a first.

And here’s one last thing that I really need to share with you. It’s got to be one of my most favorite signs.

hilarious

What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard someone say?
And you get extra credit if it’s funny!

Running is like cleaning carpets and other pearls of wisdom.

Hey, hope your Monday is off to a great start! I started mine off by taking the dogs for a walk. No running for me today, I’m taking the day off. I ran 7 miles on Saturday and 5 on Sunday and both of those runs were good, but I don’t want to push myself. So, I’m sticking to my plan of at least 2 days off per week because a girl needs time to do her nails or sleep.

I wish I was running at 100% and I could sign up for a Halloween race….that will not be happening though…because well, that’s just stupid and I’m clearly not ready yet.

untrained
This weekend I spent some time cleaning my house. I’ve been so busy with work that my house has started to look like a college dorm room, and my carpets have been seriously neglected. So I decided to clean them.

Did you know that using the wrong equipment, such as the wrong solution or the wrong machine can damage your carpet much like wearing the wrong shoes or fueling improperly can damage your body.

And vacuuming consistently will help to keep your carpets fresh and clean and help them last longer just as running consistently helps you to build a strong base and gives you endurance to last longer. Spot cleaning any stains will help keep your carpet looking new and proper stretching and strengthening your trouble spots will help to prevent running injuries.

thinking...thinking...thinking
I think I’m on to something here…..

A deep clean once in a while is necessary to bring those carpets back to life and help them to endure years of foot traffic. A long run once a week will help you build your endurance and strength to tackle all those races you want to run. Over-cleaning or over-vacuuming can damage your carpets. Running too often can damage your body.

Holy housemaid! Cleaning your carpet is just like running!

I was pretty proud of this epiphany. So proud in fact, that I decided to try to relate the next chore to running as well…unfortunately washing dishes just didn’t work.

I couldn’t find one damn reason why over-washing your dishes would be bad for them.
However, I did find an article that said the stress of household chores can be bad for your heart….

what?Who knew?

Upon reading this, I decided I should refrain from any chores that give me stress for the good of my heart and I think you should too.

What did you do this weekend?

What’s the one chore you absolutely hate?

Throwback Thursday – A convo with MacGyver

Lets celebrate Throwback Thursday with the time I learned a little bit about Man Code Stupidity, compliments of my wonderful partner in life, MacGyver.

oh boy!

Let me set the stage for you.  MacGyver pulls a T-Shirt out of his drawer and puts it on. Immediately after pulling it over his head he sighs loudly and then looks at me.

MacGyver: I cannot believe you!

Me: What?

MacGyver: This shirt!

Me: What about it?

MacGyver: Why would you wash it and put it back in the drawer?

Me: Because you just wore it and I hate to break it to you but sometimes you stink and newsflash, sometimes you have to wash your clothes.  It’s kind of a thing.

MacGyver: Well, we all know you have’ kind of a thing’ with the washing machine, but just look at this shirt.

Me: What about it?

MacGyver: It’s got holes in it! I wore it to a customer’s house the other day and I was mortified. There are holes under the arms on BOTH sides of this shirt! Why would you wash it and put it BACK in the drawer. It’s obviously a rag now.

Me: Really?

(I then leave the room and go to the bedroom where I retrieve another T-Shirt from MacGyver’s drawer and when I return to the living room I hold up the shirt.)

Me: Do you not also wear this shirt ALL the time?

MacGyver: Yes, but THAT is a good shirt.

(I freakishly point at the shirt like an over exuberant Teacher…)

Me: Then can you tell me what this is here? Located not only on the front, but the back, right here in this location, what is this?  WHAT IS THIS????

MacGyver: Those are little holes.

Me: Are you freakin kidding me right now? What makes this shirt any different from the one you are currently holding?!?!?!?

MacGyver: Clearly you have no understanding of an acceptable T-Shirt hole.  Midrifft  hole acceptable, (yes, he calls it a midrifft).  Armpit holes are obviously UNACCEPTABLE!

Me:  Really?

Weirdo!

Whats the weirdest thing your partner has ever done?

Does he or she mispronounce a word that drives you nuts and refuse to pronounce it correctly?  See: midrifft.